People assume I’m a straight woman about 99 percent of the time. Even my fellow LGBTQ brothers and sisters are surprised when they realize I’m married to a woman. Coming out to my family was relatively easy, but coming out to the world around me was a little harder, and navigating who I am on set was challenging at times. My first time on set after coming out, I was so excited and happy to be out! The make-up girl and I on set had quickly become friends and she was also a Lesbian, so that made me feel even more connected to her, and I also felt grounded having someone else that was part of our community there. A sound guy overheard a conversation we were having about being married, and he looked over at me and said, “Oh no, you’re a Lesbian too?”
I was so shocked by his comment.
He said it with such disdain and I had never felt like an outsider when I identified as straight, so this new confrontation was surprising and scary. In that moment, though, I chose to not be ashamed or feel victimized but proud; I quickly rebutted “That’s right, there’s 2 of us here.”
Later on, processing what had happened, I was sad, angry, and confused. I know that with being a Lesbian I’ll come in contact with people who may have issues with my sexuality, but that’s their problem not mine. I’m proud of who I am. Our world has progressed a lot since I came out, and so has the Industry. This past year I played a married Lesbian on a Hulu show, and I was so excited!
I was so happy to represent our community, and in a positive light nonetheless. I still get the occasional disbelief that I’m a Lesbian, but instead of people saying “Oh no,” I’m hearing “Oh yes!” a lot more.