We recently set out to facilitate a creative project that is near and dear to our mission: a photo shoot where women in our BGB community could take the reins and showcase their unique identity — on their terms.
As women, we so often deal with images of ourselves as defined by others, but how often do we think about how we truly want to be seen- who we are (our authentic self) and how we want that to be captured? The question can bring up a lot.
In that, we invited a group of BGB women/actors to take an honest look at images of themselves and then identify how they wanted to be seen, to be photographed… for real. We asked them to art direct their individual photo shoots, take big risks, and show up boldly in creative expression. They looked to previous narratives, then to their imaginations, feelings, and desires, and took part in a series of individual photo sessions- with 2 talented woman photographers- to explore how they intentionally wanted to be captured on camera. We called it “BGB Women — How You See You!”
What we ended up with is more powerful, more exciting, and more fiercely vulnerable than we could have ever imagined. We witnessed 40 women go through a catharsis- a metamorphosis- from identifying with a persona of who they thought they were to wholeheartedly standing in who they are. These images rock our world and we’re thrilled to share them with you!
The 2 brilliant photographers with whom the Women of BGB collaborated are: Ellyn Jameson and MK McGehee.
We recently set out to facilitate a creative project that is near and dear to our mission: a photo shoot where women in our BGB community could take the reins and showcase their unique identity — on their terms.
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“I felt like I could do no wrong — that I could just serve my warrior witchiness… I feel powerful when the choice to show my body in certain ways is entirely mine… We are so much more than even we know.”
read more“I absolutely loved participating in this project. I felt confident and cared for during my shoot. What came up for me first was Trust. In this shoot, I felt like I could do no wrong — that I could just serve my warrior witchiness and Ellyn my photographer would capture it and turn it into a cinematic moment. Another thing that came up for me was how comfortable I felt being seen — being judged, even. “It was part of my goal to show my Adam’s Apple and my ‘male’ chest in high-contrast lighting; I love my body and I don’t care if it reads as cisnormative or as non-binary. I feel powerful when the choice to show my body in certain ways is entirely mine. Ultimately, we definitely got shots that capture me as I wish to be seen … but also what surprised me was seeing complexity and sensitivity and mystery in the proofs, too. We are so much more than even we know.”
“During the shoot I felt strong and confident for the first time in front of a camera. It was really empowering. My photographer Ellyn had an amazing vibe, it was like she was an extension of me.”
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“…There’s a lot of power in vulnerability, as we learn in our classes, so I tried to just feel whatever I was feeling and trust it. No pushing, no showing, just me. And I am enough.”
read more“I loved exploring my inner Wolf. I like to think about the wolf as my power animal, and I’ve been working on owning my power and stepping into it freely, without shame or judgment, and most importantly, not giving it away. I was feeling very vulnerable and frightened at the beginning of the shoot. The music I chose was very grand and epic, like the way I see wolves, but I remember that day that it made me sad. I felt anxious and was fighting tears, but I wanted the photos to be real and authentic, so I didn’t just want to push it away or hide it behind a smile. “There’s a lot of power in vulnerability, as we learn in our classes, so I tried to just feel whatever I was feeling and trust it. I should have known that I would feel my wolf power most freely when I was showing off the shaved side of my head. Arguably the boldest risk I’ve ever taken, my side cut reminds me that being true to who you are is the only thing that matters. It’s me just being my badass wolf self. No pushing, no showing, just me. And I am enough.”
“Before the shoot, I was worried that somehow I was simultaneously “too much” (because of my requests) and also “not enough,” but once I got in the room and into the shoot, I realized that none of it was true and just me being me how and who I was, was perfectly acceptable.”
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“There are so many moments in my life where I’ve judged my physical self, or feared the judgement of others, and in this shoot I was so comfortable- and excited- to be seen… raw, joyful, emotional, present!”
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“I gave birth six days after this photoshoot to a beautiful little girl. When I look at the photos I see the complexity of what this journey has been for me…I see me for the first time in a long time. ”
read more“This process has been really special to me. It marks a very important moment in my life as a woman, an artist, and a mother. I gave birth six days after this photoshoot to a happy, healthy, and beautiful little girl, my strong Lioness, Leona. When I look at the photos I see the complexity of what this journey has been for me. I see struggle, I see happiness, I see sadness, I see fear, but as the photos go on, I see nothing but sheer confidence and bliss. I see me for the first time in a long time. I am so happy that the manifestation of all of those feelings has led me here, a wondrous place to move forward with this new chapter in my life.”
“…It’s allowing myself to be fully seen – vulnerable – where my true beauty lies.”
read more“As I looked at the beautiful photos my photographer Katie captured during my time with her, I realized that all those parts of me – the “flavors” that live within my divinely crafted and created vessel – especially the one, two or three that can be the most uncomfortable to shed light on – are closer to the surface than I thought. But it’s allowing myself to be fully seen – vulnerable – where my true beauty lies…”
“It was wonderful to be able to be myself and show myself… I wanted to shoot something that felt truthful and vulnerable, and I was able to do just that.”
read more“It was wonderful to be able to be myself and show myself: I don’t feel like you get to do that often when you shoot – especially with photos. I wanted to shoot something that felt truthful, vulnerable, and Ellyn (my photographer) allowed me feel comfortable to be that and do just that.”
“What I loved about this experience – and possibly because of the time constraint and the specificity with which we worked – it was effortless and easy… staying fresh, alive, and authentic.”
read more“Taking professional headshots has always been a harrowing experience for me. I usually have to lug half my wardrobe to the shoot, worry about makeup/hair, and manufacture ‘looks.’ All of it, however, usually creates tension and tends to keep me at a distance from my authentic self. What I loved about this experience – and possibly because of the time constraint and the specificity with which we worked – it was effortless and easy. Shooting with the photographer, Ellyn, was a dream – she put me immediately at ease. “What blew my mind the most was that less time shooting didn’t mean less options to choose from at the end of the day; there were still great shots. It changed my plan of attack for headshots moving forward. The days of shooting for hours, having hundreds of photos to field through, and possibly finding one or two passable pictures are over for me. Now I know: be specific about what you wish you accomplish – shoot for a half hour to an hour max – and maybe have two looks at most. That way, you stay fresh, alive, and authentic. Loved the experience!”
“It was not how I wanted to be seen, but more how I AM – deep down under everything. An empath feeling everything for everyone… Which now I realize is how I should want to be seen. This is who I am. ”
read more“I took the place where I’d positioned so many others (as the photographer) in the hours before – and I couldn’t do it. I was filled up with all this pain and vulnerability as the seer, and now I had to be seen. It all came spilling out. “I was mad at myself because it was not what I wanted to do and not the prompt of the project. It was not how I wanted to be seen, but more how I am deep down under everything. An empath feeling everything for everyone and not able to turn it off. A person with her own pain and insecurity no matter how much confidence she gains. Which now I realize.. is how I should want to be seen. That is who I am. I am here holding space for everyone’s story and sharing my own and I should be celebrating that.”
“The day we played, I knew my story by heart. And in the room, I felt the stories of the other Women: An army of Amazons who’d gone before me — who now stood behind me — reminding me that I was brave enough to use my voice.”
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“Facing the camera and having a real experience was all that I needed to do, and it was beautiful… I look strong. And scared. And sad. Which I am, all of those things. All the time.”
read more“I’m proud. I was so scared going in, I was so concerned about the right make up, the right clothes, I wanted very much to get my point across and as much as I hate to admit it…I didn’t want to look ugly in the process. But, sitting on that chair, facing the camera and having a real experience was all that I needed to do, and it was beautiful. Other shit didn’t matter, I just needed to fully show up. “I think I do look strong. And scared. And sad. Which I am, all of those things. All the time. The quote I forever and always go back to in all of this is ‘Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.’ –Walt Whitman”
“‘Comparison leads to confidence and happiness?’… that can’t be right… Once I got in the room… I got to have fun and not take myself too seriously, which is my favorite thing.”
read more“Leading up to the shoot I started psyching myself out that my idea was too weird, cheesy, “out there.” I thought other women from the Studio would be doing something more refined or subtle or classy or whatever (what’s the saying? Comparison leads to confidence and happiness?? … that can’t be right..) Thankfully, once I got in the room, my photographer Ellyn was jazzed about my idea and I got to have fun and not take myself too seriously, which is my favorite thing.”
“…It felt right for me to reveal this Giant Warrior Woman I am. All the things I want to do, and have to do, I can. And if this Warrior Protector in the picture is the Real Me, then it looks like I will.”
read more“I had just gone running. I came in breathless and in my body. This was the first time I’d ever been photographed from the inside. Not according to what I should look like or was told I look like or what I should have on file. I wanted to show my grit and my messiness. I was without fear. Nina Simone said that’s what freedom is: living without fear. Someone once described me as being fearless, with a lot of juice. That’s what I felt. “So much is said about my height and my body and my strength and my intensity and how intimidating I am. So it felt right for me to reveal this Giant Warrior Woman I Am on camera and be Her in real time. Without fear or judgement or comment. I felt strong and beautiful, the crown of my head and the bottoms of my feet all at the same time. And all the things I want to do, and have to do, I can. And if this Warrior Protector in the picture is the Real Me, then it looks like I will.”
“I felt like I was in a place where I was allowed to be powerful… I was given space to fill, and that was a really empowering feeling.”
read more“I had expected to feel more nervous during the shoot. I had a lot of time beforehand to let myself get anxious, and I could definitely feel it. But when I stepped in the studio, and Ellyn, my photographer, immediately got my vibe and just went with it, I felt so confident. “I felt like I was doing something right. I felt like I was in a place where I was allowed to be powerful. Where I was allowed to be angry. Where I was allowed to have something to prove. Where my choice of bringing a sword and a kickass, witch-y dress wouldn’t be judged or giggled over. I was given space to fill, and that was a really empowering feeling. Fucking loved every moment, and am so grateful for everything BGB Studio has given me.”
“I definitely was less self-conscious in the shoot – allowing myself to include my whole body in my experience. I surrendered to it, which felt new and powerful.”
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“I love the rawness of all of these [photos]. I’ve spent my whole life being airbrushed into some glossy sexy image that isn’t who I am inside. I just love the Studio, I feel like I finally get to be myself and that’s good enough for the first time.”
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“As an actor, I’ve tried to fit into different boxes, and I finally realized: I am not that small portion that you’re trying to fit me into. So I’m going to give power to how I see myself… not as a made-up version of myself, but simply as ME!”
read more“At the end of the day, I don’t really care about how the industry perceives me. For a large part of my career as an Actor I’ve tried to fit into different boxes, and I finally realized: I am not that small portion that you’re trying to fit me into. So I’m going to give power to how I see myself. And that is exactly how I came into this shoot! “It feels great to say ‘No… let me justify myself for myself!’ My job as an Actor is to be an Alchemist; change those words, change moods, and change people with my work. That’s what I do. I’m super grateful for this opportunity to sit in and share my truth. It was so much fun to arrive to set, not as a made-up version of myself, but simply as ME!”
“My photographer, Ellyn, radiated such enthusiasm and love, and I have rarely felt so “seen” . . . the camera seemed to disappear, and so did my self-consciousness.”
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“I was surprised by how much I was affected by the music. I put together songs that made me feel confident and mischievous, and I was amazed at how easily the music flowed through me…”
read more“During the shoot, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I was affected by the music that was playing. I put together songs that made me feel confident and mischievous, and I was amazed at how easily the music flowed through me; so now one of my on-going projects is to specify the emotions evoked in me through different songs. This was the first time I curated a playlist solely for the purpose of a photo shoot, and I will do this for every single headshot session from now on!”
“How about just ME? All those characters live in ME, and I bring to them what only I can… Before we can step into any character we need to feel very free to embrace all of who we are, and this shoot reinforced that.”
read more“It was so refreshing not to ‘put on’ a character—meaning this is my ‘mom’ type, this is my ‘lawyer’ type, this is my ‘sexy’ type, etc. and feel the pressure of that result. How about just ME? All those characters live in ME, and I bring to them what only I can, just like anyone else. I think before we can step into any character we need to feel very free to embrace all of who we are, and this shoot reinforced that.”
“…The experience has left me genuinely asking, “What is perfection?” It’s not real, it’s not relevant or needed in art, and it’s an unnecessary block to creating the work I’ve been called to do.”
read more“This was such an amazing experience for me. I was nervous shooting with Ellyn (my photographer) just because I pressured myself with the mindset that these had to be ‘perfect’ and in order to do that I had to be ‘perfect.’ I thought my stomach was bloated (unattractive) and I thought I didn’t know how to express ‘Afro Saves the World’ (am I really capable of pulling this off?). “With all that nonsense going on in my brain and heart I was still able to find moments of being present and trust that I was exactly where I was supposed to be and seeing these photos…wow. I am blown away. Really. They are so good. Ellyn really captured the beauty and strength of what I wanted to portray and the experience has left me genuinely asking ‘What is perfection?’ It’s not real, it’s not relevant or needed in art, and it’s an unnecessary block to creating the work I’ve been called to do.”
“It’s not my job to make sure the entertainment business likes me, or finds my work worthwhile; it IS my job to tell stories, and constantly work to deepen and strengthen my capacity to do so in the most honest way I can…”
read more“One interesting thing that came up for me was that I actually don’t feel particularly concerned anymore about what ‘the industry’ sees when it looks at me. In the last couple of years, I’ve started writing, and even tried my hand at directing some of my own writing, and that work has given me so much satisfaction and positive challenges that I feel only enhances my work as an actor. It’s not my job to make sure the entertainment business likes me, or finds my work worthwhile; it IS my job to tell stories, and constantly work to deepen and strengthen my capacity to do so in the most honest way I can. “These photos show me clean and styled, with a little more makeup on my face than I usually wear, and standing in shoes that are probably a little too high for me to walk very far in. But they also show some of the years I’ve lived… in tiny lines around my eyes and mouth that weren’t there when I started this game, and in sun spots on fair skin, gifted from too many hours spent outside in nature where I love most to be.”
“…I felt so safe, loose, and carefree. The shoot was a blast! And these photos really look like me!”
read more“All in all, this experience was wonderful. I felt safe, loose and carefree. My photographer Katie and her husband were warm and made me feel right at home. I usually tense up when someone is taking my picture, but I felt entirely relaxed during the session. Thank you for including me! It was a blast – these photos really look like me!”
“When I look at these photographs… I am drawn to the naked moments of feeling that came up, and the images they produced. Powerful to reflect on in an industry that seems to harp on what you look like and what “type” or “category” you are.”
read more“Truly, who I am and who I want to be seen as have nothing to do with a finite identity or image. When I look at these photographs through the lens of ‘how YOU see you’ I am drawn to the glimmers of emotion, determination, sadness, and giddiness that I see. I’m not caught up in the hat, or the flowers, or in the shedding of ‘the commercial girl’ persona; I’m drawn to the naked moments of feeling that came up, and the images they produced. Powerful to reflect on in an industry that seems to harp on what you look like and what ‘type’ or ‘category’ you are.”
“I wasn’t there to perform, I was there only to BE. What a revelation. What a meditation…”
read more“I made up the story in my mind that I was just an actress and therefore no good at playing model. Katie my photographer immediately put me at ease. After connecting over our shared Southern roots and love of good music, she reminded me that I wasn’t there to perform, that I was there only to BE. What a revelation. What a meditation.”
“I wanted to get away from projection and into essence… Looking at the photos now, I am so happy – they are closer to me than any photos I’ve ever had taken.”
read more“I had a lot of resistance/fear/anxiety come up before the shoot thinking about image and presentation and identity, wanting to understand how to present myself without the idea of a persona. I didn’t want to focus on how I am perceived or how I want to be perceived, in fact I wanted to get away from projection and into essence – or as much as I can do that while still being in human form. “I realized that the body dysmorphia I’ve felt in my life has less to do with feeling like I’ve been born in the wrong body and more to do with the discomfort of being in a body at all. Trying to reconcile that into a physical photoshoot was extremely emotional. What to wear was a struggle because that ties so much into presentation. I ended up wearing a t-shirt that’s as old as I am and a pair of boots I’ve owned since entering adulthood. Things old and lived-in. Looking at the photos now, I am so happy – they are closer to me than any photos I’ve ever had taken. Thank you for this experience.”
“…It’s incredibly valuable to be seen in a way that feels actualized and empowered and free of the very specific constraints that a lot of the people who make entertainment think that someone who looks like me should experience.”
read more“As a character actress who works in comedy, I generally feel as though there’s a very limited scope in the ways I’m seen or portrayed. With this shoot I tried to take back a little of that control. “The majority of the women I get paid to play are outsized characters who are often frustrated by life, frustrated in love and friendship, desperate for something- attention, validation, attraction, self-expression – and act out those frustrations in comedic ways. Often that’s also expressed in the way I’m made to look, whether that be in a way that’s very buttoned-up and repressed, or bedazzled and over-the-top. “It’s incredibly valuable to be seen by a professional and their lens in a way that feels actualized and empowered and free of the very specific constraints that a lot of the people who make entertainment think that someone who looks like me should experience.”
“…As much as I feel like a very serious, mature, independent woman, deep inside I’m really just a goofy kid looking to play.”
read more“I was trying to do this thing where I look very bad-ass and/or sexy to contrast comically with the stuffed animals, and I felt very self-conscious in my attempts to achieve “bad-ass” and “sexy” and whatever that meant to me at the time. But I realized as much as I feel like a very serious, mature, independent woman, deep inside I’m really just a goofy kid looking to play.”
“I was able to slip into my confidence, as if that – shining bright – was my true self… It was freeing and gave me a piece of something big to carry around for the moments I feel small.”
read more“Coming into the shoot I expected difficulty and discomfort but I was met with an almost frightening ease. I was initially surprised at how fast I was able to slip into my confidence, as if that – shining bright – was my true self, and, actually, all the doubts I feel and externalize were there to make everyone more comfortable. It was freeing and gave me a piece of something big to carry around for the moments I feel small.”
“…It doesn’t really matter a whole hell of a lot how I’m seen by others- what matters most is how I see myself. And I choose to see myself as beautiful and messy and flawed and sexy…”
read more“I think what came up for me in this process is how capable I am, even when I am afraid. I had resistance to this experience from the get-go- because reconciling how I’m seen in this town with how I feel about me can be uncomfortable. That’s why I signed up. And then I had resistance allll dayyy leading up to the shoot, even though I knew intellectually that it would be a fun half hour and that the stakes were relatively low, overall. And sure enough, it was a blast. “Looking at the pictures now, I’m struck by this: It doesn’t really matter a whole hell of a lot how I’m seen by others- what matters most is how I see myself. And I choose to see myself as beautiful and messy and flawed and sexy and all the things I listed in my original list brainstorming for the project. Love this realization. Thank you, guys.”